5 Ways to Love your Husband Well

Eight years ago when I started writing here at The Calm of His Presence I wrote each week on marriage. Coming from a broken home my hearts desire has always been to have a God-centered marriage. While my husband didn’t come from a literal broken home his parents didn’t have a strong God-centered marriage through most of his formative years.

Early on in our dating we realized in order to have a strong, God-centered relationship and ultimately marriage we must commit to hard work and dedicate ourselves to prayer. For 24+ years we have done just that. While we are human and make mistakes we strive to submit to God’s design for marriage. We pray, honor, respect and seek what’s best for each other.

The unfortunate truth is that many marriages are in a state of hardship with some being at a point of crisis. This fact breaks our hearts. Locally, we have begun working with several couples who are in crisis. It has been an honor and privilege to model a God-centered marriage and come alongside them to help build a marriage that honors God and each other.

My heart’s desire is to sit face to face with each of you as we discuss what it looks like to have a marriage that is focused on Christ. In this perfect world we would meet at a local coffee shop, settle into big leather chairs with our cups of warm coffee and talk about what a God-centered marriage looks like in daily life. But alas, that isn’t possible so consider this the next best thing as I share with you what it looks like to love my husband well in my day to day life.

5 Ways to Love your Husband Well

1. Pray for him.

Not a day goes by where I don’t pray for my husband multiple times throughout the day. Everyday men face stress at work, temptation from the world around them and  internal struggles they share with no one. As his wife part of my responsibility is to support, encourage and undergird my husband and the best way to do that is through prayer.

During my morning quiet time I spend a few minutes praying over my husband’s day. I pray for his health, his walk with the Lord and his purpose. I also spend time specifically praying for God to strengthen and protect our marriage from the influences of the enemy.

Challenge: Pray for your husband each morning for the next week.

2. Take interest in his hobby.

Does your husband have a hobby he likes to do during his down time? When my husband and I were dating we frequently did fun things outside of work and school. While we each had our own interests and hobbies we made time to participate in something the other enjoyed.

Years later we find ourselves with kids, work, and caring for an aging parent that make it much harder to find free time to spend with each other. When one of us has free time to enjoy a hobby often times the other is busy with another responsibility. This is where intentionality comes in. We must make the time to focus on one another and enjoy each other’s company.

How can you join your husband in his hobby? My husband loves building furniture and things for our home. He doesn’t get to do it very often but when he is covered in saw dust from a project he is fully focused on the task at hand. A couple of years ago he made a commitment to build a dinning room table we dreamed of for years. He worked every night after dinner and what free time he could find on the weekends. Often times, after the kitchen was cleaned for the night, I would slip out to the garage, pull up a stool and sit and watch him work. I loved the way he came alive covered in saw dust. Occasionally I helped him with something but most of the time I sat and asked questions about what he was doing or we discussed our day, hopes and dreams. My sitting with him was nothing fancy but it spoke volumes to him on how much I loved him and cared about his interests.

Challenge: Find a way to show interest in your husband’s hobby this week.

3. Listen to Him

How many of you find yourself taking over conversations between you and your husband? As women its in our nature to be chatty and eager to share our thoughts and feelings. But unfortunately this leaves our husband without an opportunity to share what’s on his mind.

While he won’t necessarily admit it, it’s important for him to feel valued and understood. But, if we are doing all the talking we can’t listen to him.

When my husband and I were dating we took turns asking and answering questions. Some of the questions were light-hearted but some were deep. We had 2 simple rules. 1. The listener needs to be fully engaged in active listening. 2. The listener must respect that the person answering the question was making themselves vulnerable and give the answer the respect it deserved.

Twenty four plus years later we don’t necessarily take turns asking questions, but talking and listening to each other is still very important. While I don’t always follow these rules like I should, I do my best each day to actively listen to my husband whether he’s telling me about his day at work or sharing something that’s bothering him.

Challenge: Make time this afternoon to actively listen to your husband when he returns home from work?

4. Make him feel special

Confession time…I have a tendency to forget to tell my husband how much I appreciate him. So many times I think to myself how lucky I am to have a husband who works extremely hard every day to provide for our family but I don’t tell him. It is way too easy to take him and all he does for us for granted.

The world does everything it can to beat down our husbands telling them they can never work hard enough, provide enough or do enough. Home should be a place they feel loved, valued and appreciated but unfortunately we don’t express that to our husbands enough.

So the question we need to ask ourselves is, “How can we make our husbands feel special?”. It doesn’t require a lot of expense or fanfare. It just requires us to think beyond ourselves and put him first. Here are a few ideas… Does your husband have a favorite dessert or candy you can pick up while at the grocery store? When he gets home from work stop what you’re doing and greet him with a hug and kiss. Send him a text that simply says, “I love you and thank you for working hard to provide for our family”.

Challenge: What is one way you can make your husband feel special this week?

5. Date him

Just typing out those two words reminds me of many wonderful memories while dating my husband. I remember excitedly getting ready for weekend date nights and finding time to meet up for lunch on our college campus. Often times we enjoyed Sunday afternoon picnics in the park enjoying each other’s company.

Over the years, as kids come into the picture and life gets busy juggling their activities along with work responsibilities, it’s easy to forget to date each other. Whether you’ve been married for 1, 15 or 30 years or more it’s important to continue dating your husband.

When was the last time you and your husband went out on a date? Think back to what you enjoyed doing when you first started dating. Is there a memory you can recreate? How can you set aside time to date your husband? If you have children find someone to watch the kids and surprise him with a special date night.

Challenge: Plan a special date night or daytime outing just for the two of you at some point this month.

28 Daily Prompts to Love your Husband Well

Would you like more ideas on how to love your husband well? This month on The Calm of His Presence Facebook page we are going through the 28 Daily Prompts to Love your Husband Well posted below. It’s not too late to join us. Click here to download the graphic below and hop over to the the Facebook page to join us. Are you receiving our monthly newsletter Sitting in His Presence? If not fill out the form above and you will receive Sitting in His Presence starting next month.

In His Calm,