It’s late as I write this post. My daughter and husband are down the hall sleeping soundly; which is where I should be but I can’t – not tonight.

It’s been a long hard week with my daughter. I’m exhausted and couldn’t wait until tonight when I could collapse into the weekend; ready to go to bed early and recover from the emotional rollercoaster of being a mom.

But God knew we needed some mommy/daughter time and gave us the night to have a mommy/daughter date while my son was spending the night with a friend and my husband was working. We ate too many sugary snacks, drank sodas and watched movies all snuggled in our jammies enjoying each other’s company – now I’m wide awake from all the sugar and caffeine.

If you had asked me 20 years ago if I would ever have children I would have told you no. Sure, I would get married, but I didn’t think having children was part of God’s plans for my life.

But then He surprised me and changed my heart and desire for children when I met Jeff. I knew very quickly we were going to build a life and family together. What I didn’t know was how difficult it would be to raise children.

I never imagined the incredible joy and breath-taking love I would feel, as I laid, unable to move from extreme nausea after my son was born, and glimpsed through half-opened eyes the vision of my husband as he gently cupped our newborn son in his hands.

Nor did I understand how a little girl could rip my heart out as she stormed off screaming “I hate you, you are so mean”, leaving me to wonder how could I mess up so badly as a mom. But then a little while later that same little girl gently repair my heart as she crawled up in my lap and said, “I’m sorry Mommy, I love you”.

Each and every day I am surprised by motherhood. There are days when I feel so alone in this journey and think God got it wrong when He thought I was capable of this task of raising Godly children. But then when I have weeks like this week God gives me a gift of knowing I’m not alone in the difficult days.

This week He gave me the gift of getting a sneak peak at one of the most heart capturing books I’ve read.

In Surprised by Motherhood Lisa-Jo Baker shares her heart and her story of her road to motherhood. She tells her “broken, backwards journey from losing a mother toward becoming one”.

As I read Surprised by Motherhood it was as if I was sitting with a friend having tea – talking over the joys and trials of raising kids. I laughed, I cried, I held my breath as Lisa-Jo shared her journey.

My sweet friend, before you go can I tell you something? If you feel like you’re alone in this journey of motherhood, please know you are not alone! I’m right here with you – having good days and bad days just like you.

And in those good days and bad days I’m leaning on God every step of the way.

How can I pray for you today in your journey of motherhood?

In His Calm,