It’s late as I write this post. My daughter and husband are down the hall sleeping soundly; which is where I should be but I can’t – not tonight.
It’s been a long hard week with my daughter. I’m exhausted and couldn’t wait until tonight when I could collapse into the weekend; ready to go to bed early and recover from the emotional rollercoaster of being a mom.
But God knew we needed some mommy/daughter time and gave us the night to have a mommy/daughter date while my son was spending the night with a friend and my husband was working. We ate too many sugary snacks, drank sodas and watched movies all snuggled in our jammies enjoying each other’s company – now I’m wide awake from all the sugar and caffeine.
If you had asked me 20 years ago if I would ever have children I would have told you no. Sure, I would get married, but I didn’t think having children was part of God’s plans for my life.
But then He surprised me and changed my heart and desire for children when I met Jeff. I knew very quickly we were going to build a life and family together. What I didn’t know was how difficult it would be to raise children.
I never imagined the incredible joy and breath-taking love I would feel, as I laid, unable to move from extreme nausea after my son was born, and glimpsed through half-opened eyes the vision of my husband as he gently cupped our newborn son in his hands.
Nor did I understand how a little girl could rip my heart out as she stormed off screaming “I hate you, you are so mean”, leaving me to wonder how could I mess up so badly as a mom. But then a little while later that same little girl gently repair my heart as she crawled up in my lap and said, “I’m sorry Mommy, I love you”.
Each and every day I am surprised by motherhood. There are days when I feel so alone in this journey and think God got it wrong when He thought I was capable of this task of raising Godly children. But then when I have weeks like this week God gives me a gift of knowing I’m not alone in the difficult days.
This week He gave me the gift of getting a sneak peak at one of the most heart capturing books I’ve read.
In Surprised by Motherhood Lisa-Jo Baker shares her heart and her story of her road to motherhood. She tells her “broken, backwards journey from losing a mother toward becoming one”.
As I read Surprised by Motherhood it was as if I was sitting with a friend having tea – talking over the joys and trials of raising kids. I laughed, I cried, I held my breath as Lisa-Jo shared her journey.
My sweet friend, before you go can I tell you something? If you feel like you’re alone in this journey of motherhood, please know you are not alone! I’m right here with you – having good days and bad days just like you.
And in those good days and bad days I’m leaning on God every step of the way.
How can I pray for you today in your journey of motherhood?
In His Calm,
16 comments
I have been surprised by the amazing capacity of my heart to 100% love and adore each of my 3 kids. When I was expecting my 2nd child I remember crying because I could not imagine how I could love another child as much as I loved my firstborn. As soon as I held my son in my arms those fears melted and I gained a small glimpse of our Heavenly Father’s vast love for us. My love for my children is vast and deep but is small in comparison to the love of my God!
Courtney, I loved your comment. With me being just weeks away from baby #2 being here I just can’t imagine loving another baby as much as I love my first. I know it will happen but I just feel like my heart is already about to burst with the love I already have for my first. I now can only imagine how our GOd must feel with his heart about to burst for love for all his children.
Courtney there are times my breath is taken away by my love for my kids & then to think that our Heavenly Father loves us so much more than that. Amazing!!
Mary, I just love this post and I can’t wait to read the book.
Thanks Ruth! I know you will love it!
I have been most surprised by having a strong willed child. I was not that way growing up and can completely relate to your post. I am certainly in constant need of God’s grace and help. I am so often overwhelmed and blessed in how much my husband and I compliment each other in parenting. Where I am weak, he is strong and vice versa. We learn and grow from each other to become better parents. Our kids are such a blend of our personalities and we can each relate to some things and not others. My husband has been gone this week, and I have been reminded all the more how thankful I am for him. Thanks for the great post, Mary. It is nice to know we are not alone on this journey.
Stephanie thanks for stopping by! Yes we are all “in constant need of God’s grace and help”. Isn’t it wonderful to have a husband who can partner with us and help us in our journey of motherhood. Praying for you as you parent alone this week. Blessings to you!
Excited about your giveaway! I’m starting to read the first 3 chapters that she has available for free reading now.
Thanks! Isn’t it exciting that she is giving us a sneak peak!
I was surprised by two things:
1. The depth of the love I have for my daughter. I had heard a million times how much I would love her, but I never knew how much until she was in my arms. She’s 4 now and I can’t believe how I love her more all the time.
2. How hard it would be to parent my daughter. She’s got a few things going on that, as a friend says, require “extra parenting” and some days I just don’t feel like I have it in me. It doesn’t change #1 at all. It just is exhausting.
Rebecca, Thanks so much for stopping by and sharing with us. I love that through this we can find out that we are not alone in our struggles of motherhood. Not only is God with us to strengthen us when we feel weak, but we have other Moms who know what we go through raising children. Praying for you!!
I am a mother of two. One son here on earth and one child in Heaven. I was so grateful to read your words. Even with a 19 year old and permission from many to be done, I am in no way feeling that. Loved your words of encouragement. And thank you for the opportunity to win Lisa-Jo’s book.
Okay, my first comment was simply a reflection on how your post impacted. Now to enter. 🙂 I was surprised by motherhood when I felt that strong fierce love in such a way that I literally had to leave a room rather than tear into a child (I know that is horrendous) who had bullied my child. I prayed for God’s direction and peace. Thankfully He is far more gracious than I, and gave both to me in abundance.
Kelly, thank you so much for your words of encouragement! Oh I know what you mean about going into protective mode over your child. Isn’t it wonderful that God gives us His direction, peace and grace when we need it! Blessings!
Being a mommy is a tough job – but we don’t give up, do we! I am always amazed at what motherhood has done to me! Hard than I imagined but I am becoming more than I imagined!
I relate to everything you said here, except I always wanted kids – and I’ve always been naive! Being a mother is heart wrenching. 🙂 Thankful for your words today. You are doing a great job with crafting them, and in choosing what matters.
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